Welcome to this third video in the series of three videos, how to find a job that you love. Let's start by recapping what you've learned so far. In the first video, I talked about the seven steps to find a job that you love. And for each of those steps, I gave you an actionable tip that you can use straight away. In the second video, I told you that people hire people that they like. And that the way to do this is to meet them in person.
You simply cannot represent the quality of your skills, your experience, and your personality on a couple of sides of a resume. You have to get in front of people, and the way to do that is through targeted networking. Now if you haven't watched those two videos yet, I suggest that you go back and watch them before you watch This third video. Okay, so now let's say your targeted networking strategy has been successful, and you're going to meet somebody, what do you do when you meet? In a couple of the previous videos, I might have said, what you're going to say when you meet. But actually, it's more about what you do rather than what you say, as I'll explain.
Now, the first thing is to be clear about what the outcome is that you want from the meeting. Is it Firstly, to get information? Are you meeting the person to find out whether it's somewhere you would really like to work or what that job is really like day to day? What does that company really do? Or you might be meeting because, you know, the person you're meeting is probably not a hiring manager. But they might be able to refer you to somebody else in the organization to either get more information or to refer you to hiring manager, sometimes one and two are the same thing.
And finally, you might be meeting because you know that that person has the authority to hire you. So you're always going in with one of those three outcomes in mind. But you need to be flexible. Because as you get information, you may find out that perhaps that person is a hiring manager after all, or you thought they were a hiring manager. But actually, they're not a hiring manager. But you don't want to walk away with at least a referral.
Never walk away with anything less than an agreement for that person to say, I you should meet so and so. So have an outcome in mind, but be flexible. So just how quickly the people make up their minds about you when you meet them. Now, the received wisdom on this is that people make up their minds in a few seconds. Now while it's true that a good first impression is really important, you've actually got more time available to you to make a good impression. In 2015, three US universities, monitored the activities of 166, interviewers, interviewing 691 candidates.
That's a lot of data. I've not seen any surveys bigger than that. And what they found was surprising. The majority of people took up to at least 15 minutes to make a decision about a candidate. Now, all interviews are not quite the same as your targeted networking meetings. But I think it's fair to assume that you've still got that sort of amount of time to get yourself across well, but just how do you get yourself across well, and how do you influence the person that you're sitting opposite, to help you or to hire you?
Well, this is where science can help you. This is Professor Robert Cialdini. Just over 30 years ago, he published a book entitled influence the psychology of persuasion. In that book, he took his own experimental research and that of other academics and distilled it into six principles of persuasion, each of which on their own can have a great influence over people. And in the 30 years that elapsed since child Dini published his book, his research has been validated time and time again. And now aldini is the guru on the psychology of persuasion and influence.
And it's GLD in his work, that is the thread for all of the things that I'm teaching in the find a job you love blueprint. Now, I don't have time to go into the principles in detail in this short video. But I did want to make sure that what I'm advising you is based on science, not opinion. These are the six principles. And you won't be surprised to see that one of them is liking because as you know, I've said time and time again, people hire people they like. And when you're meeting somebody that works in tandem with the principle of reciprocity.
What that means is that if somebody senses that you like them, they will like you back. If you want to know more about the principles of persuasion, then I have a whole video on this, and I'll send you a link in a follow up email to a video that I made that's on my YouTube channel. But in the interest of time, let's press on with some practical advice. Now, as it turns out, there are seven tips. But don't confuse these with the seven steps overall, from the first video. These seven tips Refer to just one of the seven steps.
And that step is what to do when you meet with somebody. First of all, you need to understand that you project what you feel. So if you want somebody to like you, you have to project a positive image. But it's not something that can be faked. So you have to change your internal state. And that's because the way you feel is reflected in your micro body language.
It's stuff that the brain picks up subconsciously. For example, we can all tell when somebody's smiling genuinely are they faking it, that's what I'm talking about. So here's a trick that you can use. Just before you meet the person a couple of seconds before you meet the person, then conjure up in your mind's eye, a happy memory. It might be a personal memory, it might be a sporting event. It might be a musical event, something that makes you smile.
The consequence of that is that your brain will pump out chemicals that will make you look happy when you greet the person. And that was our first impression isn't everything. It really, really helps. And whatever you do, don't open up with something negative. Don't complain about your train journey, the weather or the fact that your toaster is broken. People like people that come across positively.
Second, try your very, very best to maintain eye contact. Don't look around at what's going on behind you or to the size of you. Most people that meet ex President Bill Clinton say that he's very likable, and they all say the same thing. He made me feel like I was the only person in the room. He seemed genuinely interested and what I had To say, making people feel like you are genuinely interested in them is the absolute key to being liked. And if they think that you like them, they will like you back.
Third tip, ask good questions. research the company, research the individual on LinkedIn. Ask open questions. This is how you demonstrate your curiosity. And when you ask a question, listen to the answers. Don't interrupt, no matter how brilliant your thought is, don't interrupt the person that's talking.
If you interrupt the person that's talking, they'll think that you're not interested in what they have to say. Remember, this is about how you can help them look good. This is about how you can help them to fulfill needs is not about you blurting out everything about yourself. The power of the polls, when the person is stopped talking, don't jump in straight away. Pause to demonstrate that you're considering seriously what they've said. And also, people often don't know what they think about something until they've actually articulated it.
So if you pause, you'll actually often get a deeper insight from them in the space that you've created for them to reflect on what they just said. And if you're asked the question, then pause just for a second or two. It's very, very powerful. What it does is it demonstrates to the person that's asked you the question, that you're really thinking deeply about the question, and you're not just trotting off a ready answer, even if you do have a ready answer. Number six, ask follow up questions. Listen to what's been said, and ask questions based on what the person said, you'll be amazed at how many people just don't do this.
They've got a list of questions and they'll just go through their list of questions. Showing curiosity is being interested in what the person has just told you. This is the key skill that you need for these meetings, asking questions in a nice, gentle way. The good news is that there is plenty of opportunity to practice this in social situations. The next time you're a party and introduced to somebody, see if you can get them to do all the talking by being curious about something that they're passionate about, whether it's work or a hobby. Just keep practicing and practicing, and you'll get better and better at it.
And finally, keep in mind this target, aim to speak for no more than 30% of the time. When you do speak, speak in terms of stories. This is something I cover in the find a job you love blueprint. But you can also find plenty of information about this online. So here's the summary. You project what you feel.
Try to maintain eye contact. Don't get distracted. ask good questions. Good open questions. Do your research, particularly about the individual that you're meeting. Have a look at their profile on LinkedIn.
Most people have public profiles. Listen to the answers. Don't interrupt, pause to let them reflect on what they've said or pause before you answer a question. Ask follow up questions based on what was said. And bear in mind the goal to speak for no more than 30% of the time to try to help you to remember that here's a story this is the English Queen Queen Victoria, up until the current queen. She was the longest reigning queen in history.
And during her reign, she met lots of prime ministers. But the two most famous ones were William Gladstone on the left, and Benjamin Disraeli here on the right of Gladstone. She said, after talking to Mr. Gladstone for an hour, I was absolutely convinced that he was the most intelligent and fascinating person in the world. of Israeli she said, after talking to Mr. Disraeli for an hour, I was convinced that I was the most interesting and intelligent person in the world. If you had been Queen Victoria, which do you think would have been your favorite? And that is the end of this third and final video, in this series of three videos on how to find a job that you love.
The ideas in these three videos has resonated with you, then you may be interested in my step by step program to help you find a job that you love. That is available right here on Udemy. It's called the find a job you love blueprint. It's a seven step program. And actually, you've already done the first step with the career compass. And because it's on you, to me, there's a 30 day no questions asked money back guarantee.
There's a link and a great discount offer just below this video. So why not sign up now and take the first step towards finding a job and a career that you truly love and that you're proud of. I hope to see you inside