Welcome back. In this lecture, I want to talk to you about how to move past mistakes you may have made and how to forgive yourself. There's a lot of different ways that you can look at this and you'll get different opinions no matter who you ask or talk to. But we all know that kids are super resilient. That's not to say that past alcohol or drug use didn't affect them. But if they see change, positive change, their past can be healed through time, hard work from you and staying dedicated to being their rock.
If you dwell on the past, don't dwell on it too. Whether or not they show it on the outside. kids want parents who are in charge, show stability, and being able to overcome adversity is a huge plus. We talk a lot about communication and like always, it's important to communicate with your kids about past experiences. Now, I'm not talking about your past experiences that they don't know about because those should be saved for when they're adults. If ever, seriously, don't talk about how you did cocaine and ecstasy when you were 16.
And how you bought alcohol with a fake ID. They don't need to know that right now. But what you do want to talk about is things that they may have already seen. Okay, you can talk about that night you got drunk and passed out and maybe your kid had to put you to bed. Forgive yourself first, and then talk about it. If it's something that they can remember, it's very, very important to not sweep it under the rug.
Okay, so here's how you can start. Maybe there was a situation last year at a Christmas party that you got too drunk, right? And you came home and they saw that. So maybe you say something like this. Hey, remember last year when I got really drunk at that Christmas party. I just want you to know that it upsets me that I did something like that, and that I'm working hard and changing my way.
So It never happens again. How did that make you feel to see me like that, of course, you'll want to tailor the conversation to whatever it is that they saw. Talk about it and emphasize how you're doing better. Talk about how you're gonna going forward, you're gonna make things different. But whatever you do, don't keep it all inside or try to forget it ever happened. They're not going to forget it happened.
But if you talk about it, they'll forgive you.