Lecture 5: False Healing can lead to Resentment and Bitterness

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Transcript

Many people throw themselves straight back into work or their lives after divorce regardless of the complexity of their emotions. As a career person, you're particularly for risk of what we call soldiering on. which essentially means that you throw yourself into your noble pursuits like working or taking care of your children, or doing something was inside you're crying out in pain. In these instances, you're not acknowledging your writing your emotions, and pretending you're fine when you're not feeling fine can actually lead to a breakdown or to harboring deep deep resentment and bitterness. And that will not only impact your relationship potential in the future, but the quality of your life today. resentment and bitterness can literally affect your faith.

Because the carves are quite nasty, nasty pointed look on your face and this is often referred to what I call the divorce look, or the breakup. Look. This is when someone simply looks and behaves like they divorced or pained or corn or something. Some people don't even know that people can sense their bitterness, but it's kind of like it's written all over them. And it's like the battle they did with a relationship, the results and scars that they carry with them. And whenever their ex has mentioned a dark cloud covers their face, and they scrunch up with venom and anger, while they commonly say that they find, whilst they wish that their ex would probably burn in hell, these bitter thoughts have a very aging effect on the body to now I don't know if you've read Todd Dickens great expectations, but there's a great character in there called Miss Havisham.

And she suffered this kind of deep resentment in business from a failed relationship. Basically, the story goes that Miss Havisham was jilted at the altar by the love of her life. So her brown bridegroom apparently ran away and she had no idea why. And on the day that he ran away, she was actually dressed in her wedding dress and her life ended metaphorically on that same day, and she lived with this crushing emotional pain that completely out whelmed her. So paralyzed by the past. Literally everything reflected her pain her her home was left exactly as it was on that fateful wedding day, the wedding table was covered in cobwebs, the guest chairs were empty, and almost 30 years later.

And, you know, she's still in this kind of frozen places better place. So she becomes guardian to a beautiful young child called is della. And in her business, she sets out about, you know, she sets about running as well as young life and she feeds her own sadness into this child who becomes a real ice queen. And let's have some purpose is really to exact revenge upon men as a whole. And it's a really fascinating story if you haven't read it or you haven't watched the film, and I really encourage you to do so you can really see the impact that bitterness can have and how it can just wreak havoc in life around you. Now, there's a real cool old quote that's passed on from generation to generation and basically says, holding on to resentment is much like Taking poison and hoping someone else will die.

So if you find yourself holding on to your angle, your resentment, consider the impact on your life and even on the wrinkles on your face. Many people throw themselves straight back into work or their lives after divorce, regardless of the complexity of their emotions. As a career person, you're particularly at risk of what we call soldiering on, which essentially means that you throw yourself into a noble pursuit. So you're working, you're taking care of children, are you busy with some hobby, you're just busy, you're doing everything you can to not feel those horrible emotions. You're also not acknowledging your right to those emotions, and retaining your family fine when you're not fine can lead to a breakdown or to harboring deep resentment and bitterness. And that will not only impact your relationship potential in the future, but the quality of your life today.

If you are feeling strong feelings of resentment and bitterness over an extended period of time, that will really infect effect like your body and will in fact, affect how you feel in your body. olders in your face, it's just a really it drags you down those really dark emotions. So we really encourage you to not spend a lot of time feeling resentment and bitterness. As you'll see in the workbook. There's other impacts of resentment and bitterness as well and you should look out for that.

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