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Use the Eye Contact Tricks of the Masters

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Transcript

I want to give you two advanced tips, although anyone can do them most people don't. These are specific to the body language that we're talking about here. I noticed that some of you didn't do the exercise, that's okay. But I will be asking you, again and again throughout this course to practice on video, watch, share, what you're experiencing what you like, and don't like. So let's hop right into an advanced tip on body language that will solve a lot of other problems. And that is, what do you look at?

If you're a little scared or nervous, the tendency is to look down at your notes and that way you can't see anyone looking at you. The problem with that is now you look scared, nervous, unprofessional, and everyone's feeling sorry for you. You don't want sympathy from your audience. You want them focused on the ideas, you're giving them better, interesting, useful and helpful. The bottom 1% of speakers are typically staring at notes or they're reading The bullet points on a PowerPoint slide or they're looking straight out at the mirror or a clock on the wall. Or maybe they're just looking at one friendly face on the first route.

The problem everyone else feels ignored. yet have a relationship with your audience. It's like any other relationship can be like going on a date, you're on a date and the person is staring at their cell phone the whole time. How do you feel? Do you like that person? You have to give some contact some eye contact and attention to your audience.

So I want to give you some more tips. So the bottom 1% you clearly don't want to do the next group of people. This is probably about 98.9% of speakers. They're doing some version of the windshield wiper. They're looking at the audience the whole time, but they're never looking at any one person. Imagine a windshield wiper or a water sprinkler.

So when you're in the audience, you see the person up there but they're just addressing the whole room. Alright class today we're getting a blah, blah, blah. And you feel anonymous. When you're in the audience, and someone is looking at you like that, because they're just looking at the whole room, everyone, it's too quick. It's not what the top speakers do. Don't know what the really best speakers do.

They'll pick one person in the audience. And they'll look at that person and talk for just a couple sentences, one full thought and they'll go to another person in the audience and look at that person for a full thought. Only a few seconds. Here's the difference. When you're really looking at someone, that person feels it they feel you looking at them, they feel you giving them attention, and it makes them pay more attention. makes them really listen to concentrate more.

And you will appear to be supremely confident because now it's obvious. You're not lost in thought. You're not staring it notes. Here's the key, you're not just staring at one person for five minutes. It's just a thought, a sentence or two. So it's three, four, maybe five seconds at the most.

What does that mean? If you're giving a presentation, to a group in your office clients, customers prospects, and you're talking for 15 minutes, and they're 30 people in the room, it means you can get every single person, individualized eye contact, many times because again, we're only talking about five seconds or so. This does a lot of things. It just makes you appear supremely confident. So if I'm looking over here, this person, to the people over here I at least look composed and confident because I'm not Sort of doing this thing, which makes speakers look nervous and uncomfortable. Here's the advanced tip.

You may not need to use this anytime soon, but it's here for you when you need it. If you're speaking on stage, a large group, let's say a convention for your industry, you may have bright lights in your face. And it's dark and the old you can't even see your audience members. This trick will still work, just focus one spot for that full thought couple of sentences. 20 people in that whole area will feel like, Wow, he really spoke to me, Wow, she was really talking to us. And then you just pick different points throughout the room and you hold the gaze, the fact that you can't see anyone doesn't matter.

They will feel like you're looking right at them. you're connecting with them. And when you're doing that, it means you're less likely to do all sorts of other things. Staring looking down, freezing up because you're looking at them. That is absolutely key. Here's the other thing about this, when you're looking at one person, it actually calms you down.

You feel more relaxed and comfortable, because now you're just talking to one person. Well, we've all done that since we are 234 years old. That makes it really easy for you throughout this course, I'm going to give you more and more tips of things that will make life easy for you. So you don't have to be in the middle of the presentation. Well, let me get my glasses on and see where we're going here. Now, you don't want that.

The second sort of advanced tip, easy to do doesn't require any advanced skill or training. When you're starting a presentation. The very first word out of your mouth, just have your hands move sort of prime the pump because if you're scared and nervous and have Normal. The normal thing is freeze your hands or hold your hands. So intentionally just for the first 15 seconds or so, force your hands to move in gesture. It may even feel awkward, but you'll look so much more comfortable than all the other speakers out there who start off holding paper, holding a lectern, holding remote control.

I'm holding a remote control today, just to turn the camera on and off. But most of the time when you're speaking, don't hold pencils don't hold anything else. Keep your hands as free as possible.

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